why does Wal*Mart not want people registering to vote in their parking lot?

Yesterday my friend Liz and I volunteered to register voters, so we headed off to Wal*Mart, clipboards in hand, decorated with our “Yes I can register you to vote” buttons. We had been warned not to go too close to the storefront, as Wal*Mart had not been too thrilled with previous voter registration volunteers approaching (harassing?) their shoppers. Stationed across from the entrance in the parking lot, we interacted with a handful of people (including one young woman who seemed to be confusing her voter registration with her car registration) for about 15 minutes or so before a security car pulled up and told us we had to leave. The man was kind and said that we were doing a “good thing” but that it wasn’t allowed on the premises.

From there we moved down the road to the Cheltenham Mall, where again we interacted with shoppers coming and going from the entrance for about 15 minutes before another security guard pulled up. This one stayed in his car at first, and I watched him speaking to someone on his radio out of the corner of my eye while I continued to register voters. One voter in particular expressed how grateful he was that we were there, saying that he had gone searching at other shopping centers to find registration volunteers. Eventually the security guard got out of his car, told us we were “doing a good thing” but that there was a “code of conduct” and we had to leave. He then radioed whomever he was speaking with before saying, “The subjects have been advised that they need to leave” while he sat in his car, watching us as we walked away. Another car then backed up to us, and a man who turned out to be an off-duty cop asked us what had happened. He was pretty upset that we had been told to leave, but it came down to the fact that the shopping center is private property and that they can manage it however they choose.

From there we just stood out on the sidewalk by the small shops on Mt. Airy Ave, and got a few more registrations before we headed back for the evening. The question still remains, however: Why would Wal*Mart and Cheltenham Mall not want people registering to vote in their parking lots??

what seminary gave me

“So why were you depressed?” the Nigerian doctor asked me yesterday when I went for my appointment.

“Well, I’m not saying I don’t have a proclivity toward it, but I was in grad school, stressed…”

“Ah, yes,” shaking his head, “that is very common.”

The truth is, of course, that it was much more than that.  I don’t regret my years in seminary at all (in fact, now that I am back in the area, I’ve been auditing a few classes). And I don’t even mean to sound cynical in this post, but I realize that it might come across that way regardless. The thing is, I learned much more during those five years than I ever imagined I would. Most of it, however, was not in the classroom.

I was there for the Counseling and Biblical Studies, and those programs were unparalleled anywhere else. I say ‘were,’ however, because the school is now unraveling at the seams, sadly becoming even more narrowly focused than it was before, and the professors (and administrators) I loved the most are being squeezed out. When people ask about what is going on, I find it easiest to answer, “one part theology, two parts politics,” and just leave it at that. It is difficult to explain to outsiders what the issues are and why they are worth splitting an entire seminary over. So politics in Christian circles – lesson #1.

I say that the school is becoming “more narrow than before,” because by my standards (and I would argue by Biblical standards), it was already too conservative, and being one of the few women on campus was an experience in itself. I can’t say I have ever been in a setting where I felt so unappreciated and oppressed. Let me taper that by saying that I only surrounded myself with other women and stellar guys, many of whom are still good friends of mine to this day, but overall, I felt very stifled by the campus ethos. By the end of my five years there, my heart was so heavy I could hardly get a pulse on God’s purpose in my life, even though I was already on my way to the mission field. In the worst of my depression, there were even some courses that I took for credit, but never attended simply because I felt so incredibly marginalized as I sat through them. And then there were the guys I tried to date. Those experiences were so short, but really incurred maximum damage for me, I think because they just embodied everything that I had been sensing already. So feeling the numbness of oppression for the first time in my life – lesson #2.

How has this been helpful to me? I have learned more than ever how to be firm in my beliefs, beliefs that are grounded in the Biblical worldview, and a hope grounded in the Lord. Not many at my seminary would see things the way I do, however, so in many ways that surrounding environment was the cocoon I had to wrestle through to finally be the woman God has created me to be (though continually a work in progress). This effect has spilled over into the rest of my life as well, and in many ways I feel as though I’ve been waking up from a foggy dream, even in formulating my values as they relate to politics, for example. Is it possible to be an evangelical Christian and have strong sympathies for a liberal or progressive American system of government?  I not only believe so, but, again, for me these leanings are rooted in a worldview grounded in Scripture. So learning to trust God enough to jump – lesson #3.

“You will have no time to spare,” said the Lion. “That is why I must send you at once. Come. Walk before me to the edge of the cliff…Here on the mountain I have spoken to you clearly; I will not often do so down in Narnia. Here on the mountain, the air is clear and your mind is clear; as you drop down into Narnia, the air will thicken. Take care it does not confuse your mind.”
~Aslan to Jill Pole in The Silver Chair

the pearl of great price

Once upon a time there were two young women, just out of college, who decided to give their lives in missionary service to the Lord in Africa. When they told their parents of their plans, the response was:

“Now dears, how wonderful. You’ve had a religious experience. This is wonderful, we’re very happy for you, and we think it’s a great thing, but, before you go running off into the blue, don’t you think you ought to go off and get your masters degrees or something, so you have some security, something to fall back on”…Just think about this. We’re all on – every single one of us is on – a little piece of rock called Earth, which is spinning through space at millions and billions of miles an hour, and if for some reason, by some chance, it doesn’t run into anything, it doesn’t matter because underneath every single one of us there’s is a trap door and after a while, eventually every one of us will have that trap door open and we’ll fall off and underneath are the everlasting arms of God – or – absolutely nothing, and maybe we need a masters degree for some security.

~ In a lecture by Addison Leitch, as retold by Tim Keller in a sermon on “the pearl of great price” (Matthew 13:45-46). Addison Leitch, by the way, was dying of cancer while he continued to teach at Gordon-Conwell Seminary as long as he still had breath. His wife, Elisabeth Elliot, would then be a widow twice over, her first husband Jim being killed years earlier by the people he was trying to reach out to in the jungles of Ecuador. Before Jim Elliot was speared to death, he penned a few words of wisdom along these lines as well:

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.

Elisabeth apparently knew about this pearl of great price as well. Shortly after Jim was killed, and long before she met Addison, she went back to the jungles of Ecuador with her fatherless toddler in tow to continue the work that she and Jim had started.

just plug me in somewhere

A friend once remarked to me that when she’s writing something out by hand, she occasionally expects a red line to appear under a word if she fears she’s misspelled it. I have to say that I have experienced that same sensation, more than once. Then just recently, I was trying to recall the details of a particular past experience in my own life when I had the impulse to google it online. I had to catch myself and laugh a bit. Did I really expect that every detail of my life was stored somewhere online?

It’s amazing how much we have access to online these days. Any question you have, if Wikipedia doesn’t have the answer, you’re bound to find it somewhere in cyberspace. Of course when this behavior then becomes rather obsessive/compulsive, we shame our computers as being the great time-wasters of our day. Perhaps this is true, but at least with our lack of productivity comes all sorts of useless knowledge that we otherwise never would have known.  A whole new education based on the whims of my ADD mind.

Of course I do need the internet to do the work that I do, so for better or for worse, we are stuck together. Perhaps that will change once I hit the ground running in Chad, but for now, I’ve even found a bus company that offers free wireless and power outlets onboard. I’ll be taking my first trip up to Boston on a Bolt Bus this week, so we’ll see how I feel about it after that, but with their amazingly competitive prices, already I just have to say, ‘Look out Chinatown bus!’

chapter seven

The continuation – and conclusion – of my 7th grade novella, Shadows of the Night.

“How’s your shoulder?” I asked when I walked though the door to Laurie’s hospital room.
“It’s holding up,” she answered. “The doctor says I can go home tomorrow if I take it easy.”
“That’s great!” I pulled out some of Laurie’s clothes that her mother gave me. “Here, I brought you some cloths so you can get out of the nightgown.”
“Why? This night gown is comfortable.”
“Well I think you’re going to have some visitors today, besides your family and me.”
“Oh, really? Who?”
“You’ll see. Different people.”
“Different people? Are they the ‘corny’ people?”
I laughed. In middle school Laurie’s family and I went to a farm on the outside of town. They had feilds and feilds of corn. We had never seen so much before. Just as we were leaving, Laurie had called out, “Gosh, you sure are corny people!” She meant, of course, they grew a lot of corn, but that’s not exactly how it came out.
“No, it’s not the ‘corny’ people. I mean they’re different because different groups of people are coming.”
She got dressed and got back in bed.
“Oh, Maria, I forgot to tell you I found my necklace! You’ll never guess where I found it.”
“Where?”
“In my sleeping bag!”
It was a week after she was shot. We both missed school that Thursday. Laurie went to the hospital and I was at the police station all day answering questions. They never caught the “criminal”, but there was still a watch for him in the county.
Marcy had announced that her family would not put up with such nonsense and was moving back to Virginia. Miss Ramsel was still around, but there were rumors that she was retiring after this year.
Just about everything was clearing up, and even Karen was getting better. I had thought she would in the first place because they didn’t really want to kill her, just scare me. When she gets out of the hospital, she’ll have to wear a brace on her leg for awile, and she may limp a little, but other than that she’s okay.
“Well, if it isn’t Cagney and Lacey themselves.”
“Oh, Chuck, hi! Yes, let me introduce you to my partner, Marybeth,” I said seriously.
“I believe we have already met. You seem to be doing fine since the shoot-out,” he said to Laurie.
“I’m working on it,” she replied.
“Hey, what is this, a party?” Kelly came though the door. “Did someone here order homework?”
Laurie groaned. “Yeah. Hi, Kel. I think that’s mine.”
“They wouldn’t let us all in at once, so there’s a surprize for you out the window.”
“A surprize?” Laurie sat up. “What kind of surprize?”
“Go look and see,” I told her.
She walked over to the window and looked down. She was on the third floor of the hospital, and there on the lawn were Mary Anne, the twins and some other friends of ours holding a sign horizontally over their heads that said: GET WELL WITH A BANG!!
Laurie started laughing even though it wasn’t really funny. Soon we were all laughing.
Just then Cathy walked through the door. “What’s so funny?”
Everyone stopped laughing. I think the twins remembered who she was, and Laurie knew she was my mother.
“Uh, you guys all know I’m adopted, right?”
Chuck pretended to be shocked. “You mean you’re not a pure Cagney?” Everyone groaned.
“No, I’m afraid not, but this is Cathy and she’s related to my real mom.”
“Yeah, she does look like you,” Chuck proclaimed.
I couldn’t tell them she was my real mother because if my parents found out, or anyone that knew Cathy was supposed to be dead, I’d be in a big mess.
“Aren’t you the one who found Maria when she wandered off?” Casey asked suspiciously.
“Actually, I am. Quite a coincidence, huh?”
The twins exchanged a look.
When everyone but Cathy left, Tara came in.
“Hi, Laurie. Are you ready?”
“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” she answered.
Cathy walked over to the bed. “Alright, now close your eyes…” We went on performing the ritual to give Laurie the powers to protect me.
When we were done, Cathy said, “You know, I don’t think you really need these powers because it was love that saved both of you. The man that was chasing you was shaking his head because he couldn’t stand the love. These powers are just for a precaution, but don’t stop using the love.”

That night I sat on my rock thinking about all that had happened. Laurie and I had a bond tighter than ever now. I may have problems, but they weren’t the worst problems in the world. I had a loving family, great friends, a place to live, food to eat…and so on. I was still having nightmares, but I could handle them.
Some things are going to have to change in this world, I thought, and that’s all anyone ever says. It’s time for someone to take action. I decided to start by helping our church deliver food baskets to the poor when I get my driver’s license in two weeks.
The warm evening wind blew my hair around me as I watched the colors of the sunset melt into the shadows of the night.

THE END!!

If you’ve made it through all of the middle school angst, bad theology and careless spelling, kudos to you!

chapter six

The continuation of my 7th grade novella, Shadows of the Night.

I watched as the breathtaking Rocky Mountains passed below me. Someone was explaining all the sights to me. I assumed it was my mother, but I couldn’t quite make her out. Suddenly the plane started making a strange buzzing noise. The person who I assumed was my mother got a frightful look in her green eyes. The strange buzzing noise was getting louder and louder. My stomach had suddenly been left in the air above me as the plane plunged downward.
“Mommy, what’s happening?!” someone screamed. Everything blacked out as a ear-peircing shriek silenced the air.
Slowly, I was aware of the strange buzzing noise again. I opened my eyes cautiously and realized my alarm was going off. I shivered as I remembered my dream.
Thank goodness the week’s almost over, I thought. It was Thursday and I wasn’t sure how I had made it though the week so far. Marcy had Laurie wrapped around her little finger so tight Laurie wouldn’t even look at me. My other friends were still talking to me, though, so at least not everything was going wrong. Laurie had not told any of them about my “illegal business” so they, too, were wondering why she was mad at me.
After my sister dropped me off at school, I looked around the school grounds for one of my friends. Instead, I ran into Cathy.
“Hi, Maria, how’s it going?” she asked.
“Well, I still don’t know who I could tell. You know I already told my sister what was going on, but I don’t think she would be right for the job. And Chuck’s nice and all, but I don’t think…” I shrugged.
Cathy sighed. “Look, Maria, I know this is painful for you, but Laurie might just not be the right one.”
“What do you mean? What does Laurie have to do with this? She’s off somewhere with Marcy.”
“Exactly. She’s off somewhere with Marcy, but you don’t want her to be.”
“Well of course not. Marcy’s bad news.”
“We both know that, but that’s not what I mean. What if Laurie were with someone else? What if she still didn’t ever want to see you again? That has happened before, hasn’t it?”
I twisted my hands together. “Well yes, but…but we became friends again.”
Cathy put her hand under my chin and lifted my head to face hers. “You want Laurie to be the one, don’t you?” she asked softly. “Well, I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but she might not be the best choice.” She looked at something behind me and said, “Well, it looks like you’ve got company.”
I turned around and saw Laurie coming towards me! Maybe this was a part of whatever Marcy had been planning.
“Uh, Maria, I have to talk to you,” she said to the ground. “I know I’ve been avoiding you, and I’m sorry, but I think you need to apologize also.”
What was she talking about? What did I need to apologize for? What right did she have to tell me that? For all she know, I was involved in something illegal. Did she want me to apologize for that?
“Um, well, what for?” I asked, trying to be polite.
“What for! Tell me something, Maria, am I your best friend?”
I hesitated. “Laurie,” I said softly, “I love you like a sister, but sometimes you can get away with murder and I always wind up forgiving you,” I shocked myself by saying this, but I realized it was the truth at the same time.
“Maria Phillips, you are jealous of Marcy, and that is why you should be sorry.”
I thought about this. I remembered what Cathy had said and realized what she had meant. “You know what, Laurie, I am jealous of Marcy. There, I admitted it. And you know what else, I’m also sorry you don’t think of me as a friend. I mean if you did you would tell me that you thought I was in something illegal.” She looked up sharply. “You would tell me about your parents, you would stick up for me instead of laughing along with the rest of the class, you wouldn’t even try to make me jealous…I could go on forever!” I exploded. “And do you know what else? You never even said one word to me about Karen’s accident! Not one word!”
I waited for her reaction, but she just stood there in shock wavering unsteadily to and fro. Then she put her hands to her face and crumpled to the ground.
“Laurie! I’m sorry, I had no right—“
“You had plenty of a right. That’s what you think of me—“ she cut herself off. “I’m sorry, that sounded selfish. How did you find out about all of that stuff anyway?”
“I think we need to have a long talk,” I replied.
“Now?”
“Haven’t you ever cut school before?” I teased.
She burst out laughing.
In third grade we thought we were too old to be going to school, so we took off, heading for the north pole to visit Santa, but we didn’t even make it to the next block before we decided to play house instead. No one had ever found out about that.
“Come on. I’ll show you something,” I told her and took her to my favorite rock.
I told her, “You’re not going to believe what I have to tell you, so watch this!” I made myself disappear in front of her and reappear in back of her.
“What is this?! How did you do that?” she exclaimed.
“Well, it all started when I was five…” I went on to explain what was going on.
After I had explained everything to her, she told me her family was actually doing better! They still were talking divorce, but Laurie felt it might be for the better. Her parents never really go along because they were both too stubborn to admit to each other what they did wrong. They’ve been getting better at that, though, she had told me. Laurie didn’t show any emotions about it, but I could tell she wasn’t mad anymore, just sad. She was a strong girl, though, and could help her sister and brother through what she had been through.
We cleared up the “illegal” business I was in and I was about to tell Laurie about how I have to choose someone to protect me, but I received a warning from somewhere.
“DON’T!” the words echoed in my head. Oh no, I thought. I could feel what was coming.
I saw Laurie shiver as dark clouds moved over the sun. Something was different this time, very different! “Oh no!” I cried. “Oh no, oh no!” I grabbed Laurie’s hand and in a split second we were in the school yard at the same time we left it.
“You fools, there is no place to run!” This time I saw a man appear behind us after the words evaporated into the air. He was pulling something out of his pocket. A gun! Why would he need a gun? Because he’s going to kill you! I answered myself. You either give up your soul or die. He was going to kill me! I told myself to run, but I couldn’t. Run! You’ve go to run! He’s using the gun so the other kids would think he was just a criminal, if they saw him at all. The other kids! Wouldn’t they call for help. No, I told myself, it would be over before anyone would realize what was happening.
“Run, Maria!” The commandment came from someone else. It was Laurie. The man was heading straight for her and she was telling me to run!
“Go Maria, don’t worry about me! It’s you he wants! I’ll try to hold him off, just run!”
I started running towards a group of kids.
“Hey, Christine, what’s the big hurry?” Chuck called out. Suddenly I got an idea.
“Hey, Chuck, can you get all of these kids to do some police work, and I mean fast!”
“Sure what’s the prob—“
“Laurie is about to be shot!” I screamed. “Please! Over there!” I pointed and Chuck yelled, “Come on you guys, this is serious!”
When everyone realized what was happening, they started running towards the action. Suddenly a shot rang out, silencing the air. Everyone froze. Laurie crumpled to the ground.
“Laurisa, NO!” I screamed.
“Nobody move, or I’ll kill the girl,” the man’s sinister voice threatened. Then at least she was still alive! This was all my fault.
“Laurie, are you all right?” I cried out. There was no answer.
“Oh, Laurie!” She had saved my live, and now she might be dead! Suddenly I didn’t care what happened to me. I realized I was being selfish about this whole thing. I had hurt Cathy, Karen, and now Laurie and all I had thought about were my problems. I wanted to be the good friend. The one who could stand up for the other, because Laurie had never really shown that she cared until now. But now I started to run to Laurie. She might die because of me! I ran faster at the thought.
“Where are you going? He might kill her!” Chuck shouted after me, but he remained where he was.
I just kept on running. The man seemed to be struggling with something. His face twisted and was turning red. he did nothing to stop me. I knelt before Laurie and held her hand.
“Laurie,” I pleaded softly, “please wake up. It’s me, Maria.” I felt my strength and love port into her and give her support. It was my own, mortal stregnth and not my angelic powers.
“Dear God, I’m sorry I did this to Laurie. Please forgive me,” I begged as I tasted the warm, salty taste of my tears streaming down my face. “Please.”
“I forgive you,” a soft, gentle voice said from below me.
“Laurie! Oh, Laurie!” I hugged her gently so I wouldn’t hurt her wound.
“Maria, you saved me, you did! I was in a dark place…” She shivered. “It was just…” she seemed to be searching for the right word. “Horrible,” she finished. “You came and got me. You asked God to forgive you, and he did! And he made me well! Maria Phillips, you’re more than just a best friend. You’re an angel!” We both smiled through our tears.
“Is everyone alright?” Chuck asked and I was suddenly aware of the crowd that started to form.
“Chuck! But the man…” I didn’t see the man anywhere.
“It was really weird. He started shaking his head like he was trying to get rid of something and then it looked as though he vanished, but he probably went behind these bushes, then around the side of the school. He was just one of those people who wanted a little more excitement, but I didn’t expect to see someone like that around here.” He looked at Laurie’s wound just below and off to the side of her collar bone.
“Gosh, how did you manage to get by that? It looks like something you could have died from. Here, I got these in the nurse’s office.” he pulled out a clean bandage and started putting presure on the wound. Laurie winched.
I heard the sound of a siren growing louder and louder.
“Do you hear that?” I asked.
“Is that an ambulance?” Laurie asked.
“Yes, it is.”
She groaned. “I hate hospitals.”

chapter five

The continuation of my 7th grade novella, Shadows of the Night.

“So, what do you think?” It was Monday morning in school and my friend Kelly was showing me her new car.
“I love it, Kel. You are so lucky you got your license. I won’t be able to get mine for another month.”
“Hey, what’s going on?” a familiar voice said.
“Case, hi! I was just showing Maria my new car. Hey, where’s your other half?” she teased.
Casey made a face. “She said she’s tired out from camp and doesn’t feel well, but I think she’s faking. That reminds me.” She turned towards me. “I heard about your sister, Maria, and I’m really sorry. I didn’t expect to see you in school today.”
“Yeah, well, I’m sorry, too, but extra make up work would just make it worse.”
“Yeah, I guess your right, but maybe we could go visit her sometime.”
“You can’t. They wouldn’t even let us see her.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I hate when I make people uncomfortable or embarrassed.
The topic change to the new girl that was supposed to start school here today. I saw Laurie talking to someone and said good-bye to Casey and Kelly.
“Hi Laurie!” I called. I stopped short when I saw who she was talking to. I hadn’t seen her before, so I guessed she was the new girl, but she gave me a look that made me feel cold inside. At first I thought she was maybe one of the team against me, but I could feel it if she was.
“Oh. Hi, Maria. This is Marcy, the new girl.” She said to Marcy, “This is Maria, my good friend.” Well, that was blunt, I thought. I wondered why she said I was her “good friend” instead of her best friend. Oh, well, it probably wasn’t anything important.
“Why, hello there Mary,” she said with a deep southern accent.
“Uh, that’s Maria, but hello. Do you come from the East?”
“As a matter of fact, I do.” She laughed. “No offence to y’all, but it sound strange being around people who don’t talk like me. I lived in Virginia, but Daddy was transferred out here.”
“I told Marcy I’d show her around a bit today,” Laurie told me.
“That sounds like a good idea,” I replied.
“Well, I’ll be seeing y’all around. There’s Ellen, my new neighbor, and I just have to talk to her.”
As she took off, I said, “Are you sure you need to show her around?”
“What are you, jealous or something?” she startled me by saying.
“Jealous? Laurie, I was just kidding. I meant she just seemed to be getting along pretty good, and she just moved here.”
“Whatever,” she said in an irritated tone. What’s eating her, I thought.
The first bell rang and Laurie said good-bye. She really was acting weird, because we usually stay out until the second bell. She could have at least walked in with me. Oh, well. I sighed and walked to Spanish class.

It was nine-fifteen and class ended in five minutes. I watched the hand on the clock pass every second. I was sweating more and more the closer it got to the end of the period. For everyone else in the class, they couldn’t wait for the bell, but my next class was history and I was terrified.
At first I thought it would be okay with everyone else in the class, but the more I had thought about it, the worse it seemed. Miss Ramsel could have something planned. She could stop time. She could do practicly anything! With a little help from her team, I’d be a sitting duck, I decided to call Cathy, but I realized I couldn’t do this everytime I was scared in my life. The angel was right. I needed to find someone to help me that lived on earth.
When the bell rang I went to the lav and wiped the sweat off my face. The I made sure no one was in the lav, besides me, and closed my eyes. I reached out with my mind, calling to Cathy. When I felt her presence I opened my eyes.
“Thank you for coming,” I said gratefully. “I know I can’t call you everytime I’m scared, but I’m going to history – the class Miss Ramsel teaches – and I really am scared.”
“It’s quite all right. You may call me whenever you need me, but you shouldn’t have to. That angel was right, you need to choose someone that is always around you that you can trust to have protect you.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right, and I have been thinking about it.” I looked at my watch. “Oh, no! I’m five minutes late!”
I ran out of the lav all the way to class with Cathy (invisable) following behind. The door was already closed, but I could see Miss Ramsel was still sitting at her desk while my classmates chattered quietly. I slipped in softly, but no unnoticed. Miss Ramsel gave me a wry look that said she’d speak with me later.
“Hey, Maria, I believe you’re late,” a boy called from the back of the room.
I looked at my seat as I was heading for it and saw it was already occupied. Laurie and Marcy, perched on the end of my chair, were talking to Mary Anne, another friend of ours.
“Well, it looks like your seat is already taken, Maria, but Marcy is the new girl, and Laurie’s showing her around so I guess you’ll just have to sit somewhere else,” a voice said behind me. Miss Ramsel added, just loud enough for the whole class to hear, “Oh, and you are late, Maria. Be sure to see me after class.” She never did that to anyone ever before, and I could tell she was doing it just to make me mad.
“Way to go, Maria!” someone cheered and the whole class burst out laughing. I could feel my ears turning bright red. The worst thing about it, Laurie wasn’t doing anything to help me. In fact, she was laughing! When I saw that, I was close to tears, but I felt Cathy giving me strength as I walked to an empty seat in the back.
Class went along fine, except for a few snickers and curious glances in my direction.
At the end of class, I gathered my books slowly and waited until all of the kids left. Miss Ramsel closed the door and walked over to me.
“Don’t try calling your mother now, it’s too late. I have guards guarding the school. Don’t be alarmed. I’m not going to harm you, I just want to have a little chat with you.” She sat down on a desk. “We both know you belong to us—“
“I don’t belong to anybody! You just lea—“
“At at at! Calm down. Relax. Now, as I was saying, you do belong to us, but it’s a shame you don’t think so. Maybe you need a little more experience. And you know what? You wouldn’t even want to come back, so we could just make a “contract” to have you stay forever! Now, I know God and your mother and all those people have you on their side, but they really don’t knopw what they’re missing. It would be much easier if you just agreed to come back, instead of us having to drag you there. Don’t you think?”
“Ask her what you would have to do,” Cathy spoke to me through her mind. “It would help us to know what she’s up to.”
“Well,” I hesitated. “What do I have to do?”
“That a girl!” She smiled her wicked grin and said, “Just give us your soul and you’ll live forever with me and all my great friends. Just look at the way Laurie’s been treating you. You won’t have to worry about those kind of problems where I come from.”
“Well, I’ll think about it, but I’ve got to go now, my friends are waiting for me.”
“Have a good day,” she called after me.
I went to the lav again to talk to Cathy so if one of the guards or whoever saw me, they wouldn’t be suspicious. No one was in the lav, so I talked out loud.
“How come she didn’t feel you?” I asked Cathy as I washed my hands.
“You can’t feel more than one of us at a time. The same goes for them. See, you can’t feel those guards right now, can you? That’s because Miss Ramsel is here, too. It’s just like if you’re drinking Hawian Punch and you pour more in your drink. You don’t taste anything more or differently, you just added more.”
“Oh, I get it! And thanks so much for coming. I really needed you, but I’ve got to go now. My friends may have already left.”
Cathy laughed. “You’re very welcome. Just call me whenever you need me.” She disappeared into thin air.
As I left the lav, I almost bumped into Laurie. “Oh, Laurie! Hi—“ I started to say, but she burst into tears and took off down the hall.
“I never, ever want to see you again, Maria Phillips!” echoed after her. She startled me so much, I dropped all of my boss and just stared after her.
Slowly, tears started to roll down my cheeks. My whole life was falling apart! For some reason my best friend hated me, my little sister was half dead, I was in the biggest mess of my entire life…I could go on forever. I sat down and started sobbing. “How could this be happening to me?” I asked myself for the millionth time. In just three days, my life was ruined, completely ruined!
After I’d cried until my eyes could cry no more, I just sat there. Then a door opened next to me and my friend Chuck came out.
“Hey Christine! What are you doing on the floor?” I groaned inwardly. He and I both like the t.v. show Cagney and Lacey. On the show there’s this weird guy who always kids with Christine Cagney and says something like, “Look around you, Christine. I could take you away from all this. Just think, you and me lying on a beach in Florida.” Well, now Chuck does something like that to me everytime I see him.
“Look at this mess, Chris. I could get you away from all—“
“Not today Chuck, I don’t feel that well.” He noticed I had been crying and turned serious.
“Hey, what’s the matter, Maria?” he asked as he stared picking up my books. “I heard you had some trouble in history class. Is that the problem?”
“Yeah, that’s one of them, but Laurie just told me she never wants to see me again, and my sister…” I spilled out only the problems I could to Chuck, but I wondered if maybe he could be the one person I could have protect me. But then I thought, he’s not around me that much and I might not even hear from him after we get out of high school.
“Oh, that’s right, your sister. Kelly told me about it. I’m sorry, Maria.” I feel embarrassed when people say they feel sorry for me, but I also feel grateful.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Listen, Maria, uh, do you want me to give you a lift home? You’ve certainly missed the bus by now.” He gave a shaky laugh.
“That would be great.” I smiled.

Later that night after I had called Laurie three times and each time she hung up on me, I walked down to the edge of the woods and sat on my favorite rock. I needed to think, and the fresh air always made me more relaxed and easier to think. I took in deep breaths of the pine scent and closed my eyes. As I opened my eyes, I saw the orange sun setting behind the trees. I watched the sky change from the colors of the sunset to the darkness of the night.
Since Laurie wouldn’t talk to me, I decided to check up on her. I closed my eyes again and set myself in Laurie’s house. She was talking on the phone so I moved in closer to hear what the person on the other end of the line was saying.
“I-I don’t know, Marcy. I don’t think that would be very funny,” Laurie was saying.
“Aw, come on,” a deep southern accent answered her. “It’s not a joke really. We both know she’s involved in something illegal, and she is your best friend, right? Don’t you want to straighten her out? It’ll look as if her soul was being pulled from her! Afterwards you can just explain to her that you know about what she’s involved in and have a talk with her.”
“What is this with her soul? When I heard her talking to Miss Ramsel, she said something about giving up her soul, too.” She heard me talking to Miss Ramsel? Things were starting to fall in place. Marcy was a part of their team, but I guess I couldn’t feel that she was because Miss Ramsel had been there, too.
Marcy laughed. “Oh, you don’t really think Maria’s going to give up her soul, do you? It’s just a figment of speach, I guess.”
Now I realized what was happening. Marcy was luring Laurie into a trick. My best friend was now trying to bring me back to hell, and she didn’t even know it!

chapter four

The continuation of my 7th grade novella, Shadows of the Night.

“NO!” I screamed again. “Don’t hurt her!” They both turned towards me. I think Miss Ramsel had forgotten I wouldn’t freeze like the two men because she seemed a little surprized.
“Listen,” I pleaded. “It’s me you want, not Cathy, so leave her alone. I’m not saying you can have me, but I know all about what’s happening. I have these powers, too, you know, so it looks like you’re out numbered. Besides, you wouldn’t want this to get out in school would you?” I layed down and started time again. “I hear footsteps. It must be Laurie and the twins,” I said as I felt the man’s hand on my wrist come back to life.
Miss Ramsel stormed out of the cottage as my friends came in.
“What’s with her?” I heard Casey ask.
“Oh, look what I’ve done!” Cathy exclaimed. “I must have dropped it on her foot.” She sighed. “Oh well, I guess that’s the end of that plate.” I could tell my friends still thought that was no reason to storm out of the house.
“She seems to be fine,” the man said to anyone who felt like listening. “Do you feel well enough to walk back to the camp grounds?” he asked me.
“I could walk for miles,” I told him.
“That’s good because it’s about half a mile, if we don’t get lost.”

Later that same day after I finally convinced the doctor I was okay, I was able to go home. Cathy had told me if I had any trouble, just call for her and she’d find me. She also told me that I had to visit heaven soon.
When I walked in the front door of my house, all my brothers and sisters jumped on me. Even my two-year-old baby sister hobbled over to me and held my hand.
“I heard you had quite an adventure,” my older sister Tara said.
“Did you really run around, screaming someone was chasing you?” I have triplet, younger brothers (they’re faternal, though), and they like to exaggerate a little. The one who said that was Brian.
“No, Bri,” I laughed. “Where’d you hear that?” He shrugged and seemed a little disappointed.
“That’s just what Scotty and Mark said,” he replied. (They’re the rest of the triplets.)
“Whaa!” My little sister started to cry.
“Shhh, what’s the matter, Karen?”
“Karen miss Mia,” she sniffled. I gave her a hug.
“Aw, it’s all right. See, I’m back again!”
“Humph.” That was Tara.
“Can Karen do two things for Maria?” I asked her.
“What Karen do for Mia?”
“Well, first, stop crying. And second, go give Tara a big hug.” She gave me a big smile, ran over to Tara, and wrapped her arms around her legs. Tara laughed and smiled at me.
All of us kids are adopted, but those two look almost exactly alike with their dark brown hair and blue eyes. I took my camera out of my bag from camp and took a picture of them.
Just then my parents came downstairs. I took a picture of them.
“Well,” my dad laughed, “what was that for?”
“What was what for?” Scotty said as he and his brothers came in the room. I took a picture of them.
“That!” I said. Mark grabbed the camera from me and took a picture. Soon we were all laughing.
“You know what?” my mom said. “Why don’t we all pose together and set the camera to take a picture?”
While we were doing that, I couldn’t help but think I didn’t belong here. I’m dead, I mean, not anymore, but I really didn’t belong here.

“I’ll be back,” I mumbled alter that night and slipped out the back door.
I walked though the pitch-black night until I reached the woods at the end of my neiborhood and sat on my favorite rock. The warm Californian air blew around me and reminded me of the night before. It had been dreadfully cold that night. What had happened last night probably had something to do with it. Then I realized it wasn’t temperature I had felt, but a feeling. A cold, sinister feeling.
Last night seemed like years away. What had happened? Cathy said they were going to take me, but why did they make me hallucinate and get lost in the woods? Oh, well, it doesn’t matter. Last night was over and done with.
I wondered how Laurie was. She seemed a little mad at me for some reason when we left camp. I started to get up to go call her, but then remembered I didn’t have to. I could just take a look in her house from where I was. Besides, if she were mad at me, she wouldn’t tell me why over the phone. When she’s mad at me, for some strange reason, she never tells me why.
I closed my eyes and reached out for Laurie. I saw an image scruched up on the floor. It was Laurie, but she was sobbing!
“Laurie!” I cried. She looked up suddenly and I realized she had heard me. I heard someone yelling and swearing that made me cringe inside. I went to where the noise was coming from.
“I don’t give a damn if you’ve got the best lawyer in the world! I want you out of my house and away from my children!” Laurie’s mother?! Laurie had one of the best family’s I know. I must be dreaming!
“Your house! Your children! I’m the one with the damn job that pays for this house and gives the children what they want!”
“Oh, don’t you give me this crap about money! We’ve got plenty of it. You just never give any love!”
“Funny you should mention love. Hate is what you’ve—”
“Shut up, just shut up! All you two ever do is fight like you’re five years old! Why don’t you grow up!” They turned to see Laurie in their doorway.
“Watch your mouth, young lady! That’s no way—”
“Stay out of this Laurisa!” her father bellowed, cutting off her mother. “Get out of this room this instant!”
“See what I mean…” Laurie’s mom was saying as Laurie ran out of the room.
She went in her room only to find her ten-year-old brother and seven-year-old sister huddled together on her bed.
“Why do Mommy and Daddy fight so much?” her sister asked.
“I wish I knew,” Laurie replied.
I slowly opened my eyes and thought about what I had just seen. Laurie had been my best friend since grade school, but she still couldn’t come to me when she needed help or advice. That made me feel pretty bad. I mean, that’s what best friends are for, right? Laurie was a lot of fun, liked the same things I did, and sometimes we thought we even experienced telepathic messages. Laurie was almost the other half of me.
Suddenly a bright light blinded me. Out of the shadows of the night came a bright, flowing figure. “Don’t be afraid,” it told me and I realized it was an angel. “I am bringing you a warning. Satan has changed his plans and may try to steal you before your birthday. You may want to choose someone that’s close to you and around you most of the day, and give them powers to protect you if it’s needed. It would have to be someone you trust very much. Satan would not expect this to happen, so it might be a good idea.”
“Thanks,” I wispered. I’m not usually afraid of the dark, but now I was keely aware that I was all alone in the darkness with a powerful, evil force after me. Just to be safe, I made myself vanish and walked back to my house.
I thought about what the angel said and wondered if I should tell Laurie and choose her to protect me. She was the one who was around me most of the day, but she couldn’t even come to me with her problems.
I made myself visable again as a police car wizzed by me. I better be more careful next time, I thought. Though I doubt they saw me because their siren was blaring as it raced by me. I wondered what was going on. This was usually a peaceful neighborhood.
As I rounded the corner of my block, I saw an ambulance and a few police cars in front of my house! I started running as fast as I could.
“What’s going on?” I yelled to my mom. She turned around and I could tell she was crying.
“Maria! Oh, thank God!” she cried. “We were so worried when we couldn’t find you! But your sister…” She started crying so hard she couldn’t finish.
“Mom! What’s wrong?” A hand touched my shoulder and I turned around.
“Are you the daughter Maria” a policeman with a clipboard in his hand asked.
“Yes, I’m Maria,” I replied, “but can you please tell me what happened?”
“Well, I’m very sorry, but your sister Karen has been hit by a car.” I stood where I was in shock. Hit by a car? Karen? At eight o’clock at night?
“Well, how is she?” I yelled. He was takeing his own sweet time here, that was for sure. I didn’t wait for an answer. I ran up to the man at the ambulance.
“How is she? How is my sister?!”
“Calm down miss! I…” he paused. “Oh, it’s you again. Remember this morning?” Oh, yeah. It was the guy whose hand was frozen to my wrist. How could I forget?
“Oh, yeah, I do, but how is my sister?”
He sighed. “I’m afraid not to well. She may be in a coma for several days, but at her age we’re not sure if…” he let the rest of the sentence hang on Karen’s life.
How could this be happening to me? My life had been fine before I went to camp. I had a great family, a trusted best friend, I thought I had been normal, and Karen was fine…Karen had been fine. Could it be that this wasn’t an accedent? This could have been just to show me they could do anything.
Just then I was Tara sitting on the curb off to the side of the scene. I went over to her.
“Tara,” I whispered.
“Oh, Maria.” She stood up and hugged me. “I was with her when she was hit. I was showing her the constellations. A car skidded around the corner and Karen took off, straight for the road. I didn’t know what possessed her, until I met the driver. He said ‘Tell your sister Maria we don’t easily back out of things’. He vanished right before my eyes.” Tara gave me a look that said she wished she knew what was going on. I was dying to tell someone and she already knew the guy disappeared, unless she was hallucinating.
I managed to get though all the hugs and the tears cryed on my shoulder and led Tara to my room. I didn’t feel anything that meant someone on the other team was in my room right now, so I poured out the whole story to her. The only thing I left out was choosing someone to guard me.
“I feel crazy saying this, but I believe you,” she said. “And I want you to know I’m with you for whatever you have to do. For Karen’s sake, for your sake, for the sake of the world.” She narrowed her eyes. “This guy can’t control us.”

do cleaning ladies have pimps?

I’m down in DC again for the week, so I’m afraid you’ll have to wait until I head back to Jersey next week for the last three chapters of my thrilling tale. Hopefully no one will die of the suspense.

In the meantime, I must recount a perplexing incident I encountered recently. I was casually reposing downstairs one morning at my mom’s place, not properly dressed yet wearing my new dance shoes at the same time – for the purpose of breaking them in, of course (I finally broke down and got them so as not to murder my poor feet whenever I get the chance to go salsa or swing, but that has nothing to do with the point of this post), when suddenly I heard a man’s voice speaking, rather assertively, in a foreign language at the front door. My mom had told me that the cleaning ladies would be by later in the afternoon, but, just my luck, it was a man, maybe two, and they were early. At least I had already stacked everything up in my living quarters so that you could see the floor, but I was in no condition to surprise a couple of strange men.

Without a moment’s hesitation I bolted up the stairs, kicked off the shoes, locked myself in the bathroom and hopped in the shower. Imagine my surprise then, when emerging from the bathroom, I met two women, busy at work. I said hello and stayed out of their way, but did listen in to their Spanish chatter to see how much I could pick up. After they had been cleaning for about an hour, I sensed an uncomfortable silence, and then an ominous declaration: “Jefe.” There was a split-second consultation just before the one holding the phone answered it and told him they would be only 15 minutes more. This was followed by an increase in vacuum speed and frenetic activity. They packed up everything, said goodbye, and went out to meet him as he drove up in the driveway.

Does this seem strange to anyone else?

chapter three

The continuation of my 7th grade novella, Shadows of the Night. Let me just preface this chapter by saying that though I grew up in the church, my ideas of the afterlife and spirituality were influenced more by popular media than from, shall we say, a purely Biblical perspective at this time in my life. Still, this book is, to me, evidence of a heart seeking for truth.

Someone was calling my name. I turned towards Cathy. “Did you hear that?” I asked.
“Yes, I did,” she replied.
We went outside and saw four figures coming towards us. “Maria, is that you?” one of them shouted and started running over to me. It was Laurie!
“Laurie! How did you find me?” I shouted back. The other three people were Miss Ramsel and the twins.
“Oh, Maria, are you all right? You should be in the hospital!” She took a step back as she noticed Cathy.
“Oh, Laurisa, this is um…” I paused for a second, wondering if I sould say she was my mother. Was she my mother? She never said she was, but that voice did. “This is Cathy,” I finished.
Only, Cathy wasn’t looking at Laurie. She was looking at something behind Laurie. Miss Ramsel. They stood there for about ten seconds staring at each other.
Finally, Cathy said, “Why don’t we all go in my little house over here and explain everything to each other there.”
Everyone agreed to that, so we followed Cathy inside.
“Maria, help me get the cookies I just made,” Cathy said. “We’ll be right back,” she called to the others.
When we were out of sight, she started whispering furiously to me.
“Stay away from that woman, Maria. She’s bad news. I’m warning you, stay away!” I could tell Cathy was nervous.
“What are you, my mother?” When I realized what I said, I waited to see her reaction.
“Look, Maria, I know it’s hard to understand, but I am your mother. I can’t explain right now how I found you and all that because that woman’s out there.”
“Wait a minute. do you mean Miss Ramsel?” She was the only woman out there, but I couldn’t see what Cathy had against her.
“If that’s her name, yes. She’s a part of the team. I told you I’d explain later. Right now let’s just bring out the cookies.” I looked around for the cookies when she said that, but I didn’t see any.
“What cookies?” I asked.
“The one right in front of you,” she replied. I jumped as I saw the cookies right at my elbow where I had been leaning.
“Wait a minute! Those weren’t there a second ago, and don’t try to tell me they were!” I looked at Cathy. “Something strange is going on, and you’re strange, too. Besides, how could I be your daughter if your only daughter died in a plane crash?” She didn’t get to answer my question, though, because Laurie burst into the room.
“Hey,” she said, “are you baking the cookies, too? You’ve been in here for awhile.”
“Sorry. We were just talking,” I answered.
“Well, it doesn’t matter. Miss Ramsel is going back now to tell the police we found you.
“You know, it was really weird. I mean, ever since you got that bump on your head, you’ve been acting weird, but I didn’t expect you to wander off in the middle of the night. You need to have a doctor look at that bump.” I slowly turned around to face her.
“What do you mean ‘wander off in the middle of the night’? I was taken here during the fire. And what bump? I never bumped my head,” I said to Laurie. She gave Cathy a look that said I needed help.
“Why don’t you and your friends go with your teacher? I’ll take care of Maria. She just needs a little rest,” Cathy said as she winked to Laurie. She’s a pretty good actress, I thought. I love to act too, so I took up on my role.
“Gosh, Laurie, what kind of make-up did you put on this morning? Your face is getting all twisted.” I put my hands to my face a shook my head hard, as if trying to clear my thoughts. “Camp really wore me out.” I bent over and leaned the top half of my body on the counter. I started to slump down to the floor as Cathy caught me.
“You’d better go fast and tell them we need a doctor, but I’m sure it’s not an emergency,” Cathy baited Laurie.
When Laurie and the twins left, I stood up.
“All right, Cathy, Mom, Dad, whoever you are, could you please explain to me what’s going on?” I recovered fast form my little break down.
“All right. Sit down. I’ll start form the beginning, but don’t interupt me to ask a question unless I stop.” Whe she thought about what she said, and realized it sounded corny, she added, “You know what I mean.” I nodded.
“It started with the plane crash when you were five,” she began. “Your father had left us and we were going to Nevada to live with a friend of mine until things got better for us. Only, we never got there. The plane crashed in the Rocky Mountains. Fortunatly, there were only three people on the plane. Those were you, me and the pilot.” She paused for a moment. “Everyone on that plane was killed.” her last words cut through me like a knife. I looked at my hands. They were pure human. I would’ve thought this woman was crazy if it wasn’t for the other unusual events since last night.
“Are you saying you and I are dead?” I asked a bit sarcasticly. She looked up at me and I knew her answer from the pleading look on her face, begging for me to believe her.
“Okay, let me get this straight. We’re dead. yet we’re sitting her at this solid table, on this solid earth, talking and eating solid cookies that are going to give us a few more solid pounds,” I looked at my hand with the fifth or sixth cookie I had had that day and silently put it down.
“That’s basicly right,” she said and added, “Only, you’re going to get a few more solid pounds, not me.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I replied. Then I said, “But you’ve eaten just as many as me.”
“I’m not human,” she said, as simple as that. “You are. There was a mix-up as we were going to heaven. You ended up in hell somehow and they tried to get you out, but you ended up as a human on earth. The same human as before, actually. Maria Wright you name was, now it’s Phillips, your adopted parents’ name.
“You were in a coma for all the doctors knew, when they found us. When you woke up you had forgotten everything about your previous life, so to speak.” She got tears in her eyes when she said that. Real tears.
“I’m sorry,” I comforted her. “I didn’t mean to forget. If I had any control over it, I’m sure Maria Wright loved her mother very, very much and wouldn’t want to forget a thing.”
“It’s all right, Maria. Don’t worry about me. It’s not a bit your fault. But anyway, I guess I should explain the rest of this mess to you.
“Well,” she started, “when you ended up on earth it was sort of a compromise between God and Satan. But you weren’t just human because you had experience life after death. You’re part angel even though you never really got to heaven. In heaven everyone can look down at earth and help people out or whatever, whenever they want to. But my point is, you could do that too, and still can. It’s not really thought about that much by the people in heaven, our “powers” I mean, but on earth they’re magnified, so to speak. If you wanted to right now, you could disappear and fly away. Just like I did with the cookies that you knew weren’t there a second before I put them there.”
Slowly, I took it in. The funny thing was, I believed her. “You know what, I really believe you,” I told her.
“Oh, thank you so much, Maria, but let me finish up before they come back.”
“There’s more?” I asked.
“Just a little. You’re going to be sixteen on October 29th, right? Well, on your sixteenth birthday, Satan was planning on taking you back. Since I’m your mother, I’m here to guide you and protect you. And also, you must always remember to use your powers wisely.”
“He’s taking me back to hell? Couldn’t he wait until I got my driver’s license? I can’t wait to be able to drive without my older sister hanging over everything I do.
“But, seriously,” I continued, “How did you find out he was planning to take me? And why would he want to take me?”
“We found out from our “detectives” I guess you would call them. They watch carefully what Satan is up to at all times. Satan does this just for attetion and to annoy us. He chose you because you’re smart, powerful, you have a family that loves you and would miss you deeply, and because you didn’t know anything about what’s going on until I told you. Oh, and that teacher of your is with their team. Well, I guess that pretty much wraps it up.”
“Except for one thing,” I corrected her.
“What’s that?”
“I still don’t know how to use these “powers” I have.”
She laughed. “You already have used them many times. Sometimes when you can’t wait to get out of a class or something, the class then ends.” She paused. “See that vase over there? Try to bring it there.”
I weaved my eyebrows together and concentrated on the vase. Suddenly it disappeared. “Hey, where’d it go?” I asked and it reappeared on the table in front of me.
“Very good,” she complimented me. “But don’t use so much brain power next time.”
“I hear foot steps,” I said. “I wonder what took them so long.”
“Let’s just say they got a little lost,” Cathy explained. “Hey, where’s our talented actress? It’s time for scene two in “The Sick Child”.”
“Oh, yeah.” I layed down on the couch and watched the second hand on the clock tick it’s way around.
Cathy let Miss Ramsel and two men in. “Where’s the girl?” one of them asked. Cathy brought them all in to the room I was in. Miss Ramsel’s face was bright red. It was obvious she knew what Cathy did to make them late.
“Sorry we’re late. We had trouble finding this place,” the other one said. Miss Ramsel’s face turned even a deeper shad of red. I turned my attention back to the clock as one of the men took my pulse.
“Would you like a cookie?” Cathy offered to Miss Ramsel. I could tell from the way she said it she felt like laughing.
Suddenly the second hand stopped. The man’s hand became very stiff on my rist. I looked up at him. He wasn’t cold, but he seemed to be frozen in a pose. I looked at the other man and saw the same thing. Something crashed to the floor. I turned and saw glass at Cathy’s feet and her face as white as a sheet. Miss Ramsel’s right hand was raised as if she had stopped time. Stopped time! Of course! And Cathy…
“I’ve had enough of your games, kid,” a threatening, sinister voice said to Cathy. Miss Ramsel?
“NO!” I screamed.